The Day the Rock Fell

Monday, November 10, 2008. The day the 'rock' fell. The day I was given a diagnosis of breast cancer. Me? Are you sure? It's not possible! My husband told me and I doubled over and wept. Fear swept over me like a black cloud. We held each other and cried. "We'll get through it, Deb, we'll get through it." I felt sick to my stomach. We lay on the bed and I cried some more. I writhed and cried. What a terrible feeling. We sent out the word for prayer right away. The prayers went up and the peace began to come down. I sang, "The Lord is My Shepherd." We went to the doctor to hear the report. I prayed for strength -- Lord, you got me through many things in my life and You are faithful -- now, can I have more strength for this? I asked the question everyone asks in times like these: "Why me, Lord?" Just like the song says. This is my lifesong and my lifesong sings. God spoke to my heart, "so that I will be glorified."

That day was one of shock, tears, and fears. That night before bed, God spoke to my heart again -- "this sickness will not end in death." I knew it was a verse and looked it up. It is from John 11, where Jesus' good friend, Lazarus, is sick. His sisters send word to Jesus, because they know Jesus can heal him: "Jesus, the one you love is sick..." Look at the verse:

"When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it."

I couldn't believe it: the two statements God spoke to me are put together in this one verse. I knew it was a 'word' to hold on to. I wrote it down and think of it often. I will not die, but live, and live to praise the God who will allow me to keep on living.

I plan to write further posts about this new 'chapter' in my life -- the MIDDLE chapter. I think I'll call my book, "The Book of Deborah; Don't Worry, It's Not Part of the Apocrypha." Anyone want to order a copy?

The process begins.