"Weebles wobble but they don't fall down."* I'm a Weeble. It seems like I'm going to fall down, but then I bounce back up and keep wobblin'. Today has been a roller coaster of emotions and information -- Information overload.

This morning we met with Dr. Raza, my oncologist. Here is a synopsis:

• The abdominal, pelvic and chest x-rays showed no cancer in the liver, ovaries or chest. Yes! Thank you, God.
  
• The heart scan showed my heart is strong enough for chemo
  
• A bone scan has been rescheduled to this Friday, along with blood tests (including a pregnancy test!)
  
• I will have a pick line IV inserted in my arm this Thursday @ 8:30 a.m. This is how I will receive chemo and have my blood taken for the next few months. It will be my new little buddy (remember my 'drain' buddy?)
  
• I start chemotherapy next Monday, January 12 @ 10:50 a.m.
  
• For the first 3 cycles, I will be given a chemo cocktail of 3 drugs (F.E.C., all having different qualities)
  
• The final 3 cycles will be another drug (D.)
  
• I have 6 cycles of chemo, every 21 days
  
• Dr. Raza prescribed me 3 anti-nausea drugs (including a steroid, so perhaps I grow really big muscles, like Popeye), and Zantac
  
• Radiation in Saint John for 3 ½ weeks after the chemo (probably in June)
  
• Tamoxifen drug (anti-estrogen therapy) for five years
  
• There are 4 stages of breast cancer and different grades. I am in Stage 3, Grade 3 (this is not what we originally thought)
  
• I am ER/PR positive and Her2neu negative, if you know what they mean.
  

Dr. Raza examined me and asked if we had any questions. He said that taking Tamoxifen for five years will also give the cancer researchers five more years of research, and that perhaps they will come up with more drugs or a cure. All the more reason to Run for the Cure (I'll be posting about that later), and support cancer research.

We then went to see the resource nurse, Elaine, a wonderful woman who talked to us for 2 hours. (I asked her if I could put her name on the blog; she said 'yes'). She explained the process, side effects, resources available, etc. We also met with the social worker who talked to me about how I was handling it, and is setting me up in the "Look Good, Feel Great" program that is offered in the city for breast cancer survivors. She told us that if we had financial concerns that she may be able to find some help for drug coverage, etc. Even asked how she thought our granddaughter, Afton, might react when she sees me without hair, and then gave me a book to read to her. They think of everything. Elaine took me in to be weighed and 'heighted.' This was in the chemo room where people were receiving treatment. This was something I wasn't looking forward to, but it was OK. I managed to make a few jokes while being weighed. I did, however, ask to have a private room for the first treatment, just to ease into it. Elaine said that was OK for the first couple of times, but when they switch me to the D. drug, that I have to be monitored in the big room. She showed us the chemo pharmacy, and said that the air was vented to the outside. I can't believe we put this stuff in our bodies! Chemo – chemicals. Elaine told us many things to be aware of besides the side effects, things one would never think about – mouth care, changes in likes/dislikes with regard to eating, being exposed to direct sunlight a no-no, skin drying out, even sexuality was discussed. Wow. Information overload. Dr. Raza and Elaine stressed to us that if I get a fever to automatically go to the ER to be treated. Also, to be aware of people with colds or flu, but not to shut myself off to the world – to do whatever I could every day, and rest when needed. You have about one good week that you're feeling not too bad per 3 week cycle (that is the week your white blood cells are replenishing). But let's pray that there are two good weeks or why not pray that all three be good? I hugged Elaine when I left her; she is wonderful; I can see why she has that job.

So here are my prayer requests: no cancer in the bones; no side effects (especially nausea); energy; HOPE and laughter. In everything, that there be an element of fun.

We left the oncology unit after 1, came home for a bite of lunch, then back over to the Fredericton Medical clinic to see Dr. Bryden. She checked my wound and decided not to drain it at this time, so there would be no possibility of infection before starting chemo. If it swells up anymore in the next week or two, she will decide then. We had a few laughs in her office. (She reprimanded me in a good way for doing too many exercises). She is absolutely great. Have I mentioned this before? Need a surgeon? I highly recommend her.

Then to Shoppers Drug Mart to get prescription filled, and to buy $120 of items to counter effect side effects of the drugs! And I didn't set off the alarm there (every time I go to Shoppers northside, the alarm goes off). But today, it didn't. Go figure. Cancer's gone. It must have been a breast cancer detector, is all I can figure.

Home again home again, Weebly Wobbly. Had roast beef. My mother came to see me – haven't seen her for one week as my dad has had the flu. The OT director came and made me tea and wrote things on my shopping list I need to get: candied ginger, ginger tea, Sensodyne. Quite the list. I think I'll have quite the list for a time now. Strange lists. A strange time in my life. But happening, nonetheless. I still can't believe we're going through this, but we are. I'm a weeble. I wobble but I don't fall down.

"Weebles is a trademark for several lines of children's roly-poly toys originating in Hasbro's Playskool division on July 23, 1971. Shaped like eggs with a weight at the fat, or bottom end, they wobble when pushed, but never fall completely over, hence the name and the slogan "weebles wobble, but they don't fall down". Some Weebles were designed to look like humans. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weeble)