Rest

Rest. That's what I need to do, I've decided. I thought I WAS resting. But I was 'getting through' chemo. Now, I think I'm supposed to be on a period of rest. This afternoon and yesterday afternoon I actually had a nap on my bed -- an official nap. I have a chest cold, and Doug has a sniffly cold. (This afternoon's nap was a nap with my hubby).

I need to lower my expectations of how much I can do in a day. I think that because chemo is now officially over, I had it in my head that my energy would immediately return and that I would be able to resume normal activities right away. What was I thinking? Now I must really listen to my body and if it says, "I'm tired," then it needs to rest and I need not feel guilty about resting. Oh, I have so much to learn. I haven't had a day without tears yet this week, hopefully tomorrow. It's been a better day today. Better than yesterday. Talked to sister Brenda last night and she had some great words of wisdom for me that I've been thinking on. She is wise, even though she is younger than I. Thanks, SS sister. I miss you.

It's hard sometimes for me to blog my harder moments, but I must -- they are part of my journey. I went into my office this morning to pray. I haven't spent time in my office since I was diagnosed on November 10th. Sometimes it's hard to go revisit the place where you heard bad news. My office used to be my favorite place in my house. I need to face that fear and get over it.

Natalie is home safe and sound and had wonderful flights -- four of them, and Aiden was the life of the party, performing for people in the airport, taking their stuff and making them laugh. I miss them and the house is quiet, but she must return to her husband and her life. I look forward to going out there when I'm more rested and visit with them awhile. And spend time with all her great friends, who she values so much. I was just talking to Josh on the phone and thanked him once again for allowing Natalie the opportunity to come home. I told him how it helped me get through the last two chemos. He said, "Not a problem." Imagine -- he shared his wife with me. I told him that he is a great man, and he is. Love you, RCMP man.

Well, Nat, Survivor is on tonight. Are you going to watch it with us? Will 'Coach' be voted off tonight?

Tomorrow morning at 9:30, we go to see Dr. Raza, the oncology doctor, for my post-chemo appointment and check-up. He will no doubt put me on an anti-estrogen drug that I will take for five years. Pray that all goes well. God is in control.