'If it's not one arm, it's another,' I decided this morning. For two months it was my right arm which was a bit incapacitated due to the mastectomy, now it's the left. I have to keep my PICC line site water-free for the next few months. Dr. Doug saran-wrapped my left arm this morning, securing it with that fabulous multi-use painters tape, so that I could have a shower before going to church. I had one VERY straight arm and one arm which struggled, a good pair they are.

I played guitar and piano in church this morning and left before the last hymn. Made my traditional Sunday omelette and waited for Dr. Doug to get home. Settled down in the Laz-y-Boy chair with my Laurie lap quilt, to enjoy a football game: New York Giants vs. Philadelphia Eagles. Philly won. Aunt H. and Uncle F. came from Coldstream, wherever that is. They picked up the invention that Dr. Invention has been working on for the past couple of months. Got a cup of tea and settled down for another football game. This time, the San Diego Chargers vs. Pittsburgh Steelers. I'm watching it now. They are playing in the snow. Wish I was playing football in the snow. Doug is reading to me out of the material we received from the oncology unit. He's reading about food now. Apparently my tastes will change for a time, and food won't taste right to me. D. thinks I'm going to like lobster. I think not.

I have what I call 'bits of anxiety' welling up in my chest about tomorrow. I keep pushing them down – go away, go away! Must read Scripture – the Lord is with me. Remind myself again. Wrote Scripture in my journal. Here's a couple:

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He guards all his bones; not one of them is broken. Evil shall slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous shall be condemned. The Lord redeems the soul of His servants, and none of those who trust in Him shall be condemned (Ps 34:18-22).

Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again
bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again (Ps 71:20,21). I don't care if you increase my honor, Lord – just bring me up and restore me, I pray.

In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comfort delights my soul (Ps 94:19).

Pastor Patrick spoke this morning about having a successful 2009. I definitely need a successful 2009, and it will be made up of successful minutes, hours, days, weeks and months (thanks, P.). It fits in nicely with my 'Day Box' theory – about staying in the day and seeing what good can come out of each day. And Doug's H.O.P.E. – He Offers Purpose Everyday; He Offers Promise Everyday; and He Offers Provision Everyday. I've been thinking about a verse Pastor P. spoke on: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding (Prov 3:5-6). I wrote it on a sticky and it's posted on the back door – I will take it with me to the hospital. This time in my life is a time when I HAVE to trust in God with all that is within me, for I do not have ANY understanding about this. Teach me to trust, Lord. It's You – all You or nothing, for I have nothing to offer.

R. just called to tell us about beams of light in the sky, all coming together in a point. I told him maybe it was a sign. This shall be a sign unto you, in the city of Fredericton, that you will be all right, Deb – God is in the heavens and here you are on earth. Doug and I went outside to look up to the heavens. It was true. Let it be a sign unto me.

Early this morning I started singing     Just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down

                    The medicine go down, medicine go down

                    Just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down

                    In a most delightful way.

Must go pack a bag of sugar in my hospital pack.