Christmas Day was a day of mixed emotions for me. We enjoyed a great brunch after opening gifts, followed by a cup of tea and a 'snack' a few hours later. A family picture was accomplished with ease, an amazing feat in itself, and Doug was able to figure out the timer on the camera. As we lounged around with one another, I became aware that Natalie, Josh & Aiden were leaving on Boxing Day and had a bit of a breakdown. The reality of it hit me. I went into the kitchen to cry; Jon hugged me; Alicia cried with me, Natalie loved on me… I know there is no shame in tears. Afton even held me; she is almost 4 years old. The compassion of these grandchildren is an enigma to me, but comforting anyhow -- we usually comfort the children, but the children now comfort me. I had to go upstairs and pull myself together, fold some laundry and pray for peace again. Everyone left us to go to various places, and we were alone for a bit. I lay down on the floor and had a nap while Doug watched a movie. Sometimes sleep helps, you know; helps you regain perspective and new physical strength.

I was grieving again – for my beloved daughter and baby Aiden, who have been with me pretty well non-stop since Nov. 14^th. She will never know how they have helped me cope; even though I try and tell her in words how she has helped me, my spirit cannot speak what is inside. Natalie, you are a tender woman of God, a 'workhorse,' (I call her that because of her work ethic), an awesome mother and wife, a beloved daughter. We cannot thank you enough for coming to us. And thank you, RCMP man, for allowing her to come, and for joining her (and for all those late nights watching our favorite sitcom; I'll miss that. I'm sitting in the lazy chair you broke right now, just for old time's sake).

At 6 pm Doug & I went to Doris & Laurie's for a delectable Christmas dinner. Doris, you out did yourself again, and it was just like the old days when I sat at your table and ate your food. Thanks for the fiddleheads and for the many dessert choices you made available to us. Of course, my choice was rice pudding. How did you know I liked rice pudding Have I told you before? Their daughter Michele & new son-in-law Eric (a.k.a. Mysterio Man), and daughter Jill were at table as well. Mysterio, you're a hoot and I love your twilight hair. It looks good on you. Thanks for the evening, though short, it was great.

Jon & Alicia and Josh & Nat came home from their respective places and three of us played Speed Monopoly while Natalie packed. If you've ever played Speed Monopoly, you cannot go back to slow monopoly – Jon won, of course. RCMP man said it was more stressful than being a policeman, just to give you an indication of the intensity of the game. Then we all played "Catch Phrase" and laughed hilariously til after midnight. I love our family; we love to have fun.

Boxing Day – no boxing going on here, just lots of mess and children everywhere again. After breakfast, I picked up Aiden, Alicia picked up Ivy, Afton tried to pick up Jack, Natalie picked up the camera and I turned on "Dancing Queen," and we danced, with Jon dancing in and out of the video. When I figure out how to download it, perhaps I will put it on the blog. I needed hilarity and know that when I dance I laugh. When you know you're going to face hard things, I'm learning how to dance (and of course, pray always).

Doug and I took off to the emergency room to wait for Dr. Bryden to drain my wound for the third time. She drained 90 ccs again and applied a pressure bandage that I need to keep on for a few days. In a week she will determine whether she has to drain it again. This has been quite a process. I'm still the English patient, dealing with healing wounds. Our children and their children went to their respective places, and Doug and I went to my parents after the hospital visit. I tried to have a nap on the couch, but alas…. Then to the airport to see Nat, Josh & Aiden off – their long trek back to The Pas, Manitoba has begun (six hours' drive north of Winnipeg). Many more tears, hugs and smiles, see you laters, thank you, I love you, you don't know how special it was to have you here, kisses for Baby Aiden, hugs for Josh, a final teary hug "I'm going to be all better when you come back, Nat…", waving through the window, kisses, and on to the plane they go. More tears in the van – must get control and go on, thank you Lord, for sending them here. I appreciate it so much – she took seven weeks out of her life to come and tend to me. Children are a blessing from God, I know that. And now that they are married, we have extra children and now grandchildren who also bless us.

Went back to Mom & Dad's where my sister Brenda and Mom tended to me, comforted me and made me lie down by the fire, covering me with a blanket. Brenda sat beside me and we played with her new camera. I played with nephew Aaron's I-Pod touch. He downloaded my blog on to it; how precious, Aaron. Tried to post a blog on it, but need smaller fingers for that. We then went over to Doris and Laurie's again to unwrap presents, have a cup of tea, piece of pie and rice pudding. A bit of deep discussion on purpose, mortality and 'going through' stuff. More tears. Everything certainly looks different now. You really examine your life and your life purpose when you are in this place. I think I need to have time to rest and regroup. Talking helps, though, but nothing makes sense, and I have no answers.

You know, my intention tonight was to only post the Christmas Day family picture, but my fingers did something completely different. I usually proof my work, but not tonight; it's good enough. There you have it.