Mother Theresa said that loneliness is the most terrible poverty. I realized that I'm not poor, but rich. Rich in family. Rich in friends. Definitely not lonely, and I like it that way.

I'm a bit behind in my blogging, just now writing about yesterday, Tuesday, Dec. 17^th. I thought I would be lonely yesterday, as it was my first day without a baby to wake up to or a lovely daughter to behold (they took a few days to go Josh's parents for a visit, and hopefully get a rest). So I thought I would spend a quiet day alone, and felt a bit 'lonely,' but realized that I need to learn how to be alone with my thoughts and with God. It's not like I never got 'alone' time before this happened, but since it happened, I did not want to be alone. People to me are like a warm, fuzzy blanket that shelters me from the storm, or like a good movie that you never want to end.

"Breath of heaven, hold me together" is my prayer this week. This is all I can seem to pray. I believe He will hold me together, and after yesterday's BELIEVE tale, it is quite apparent that He will hold me together, and put this Humpty Dumpty back together again.

A mysterious gift-giver left a beautiful CD of Christmas music on my verandah – whoever you are, I love it, and play it while reading my Bible. I love music – it soothes the soul. C., our cousin neighbor came over for a few minutes, bearing a gift from her friend, G., from Minto. Thank you, G. for your kindness. I gave C. a 3-D snowflake that J. had made the night before. I glanced over at C.'s house early Tuesday morning from my upper window and noticed that she had hung the glitter snowflake I had given her last week in her window. I was touched; it was like looking at myself, because I know that when she looks at it, she thinks of me. Later that afternoon, I noticed that she had hung the 3-D snowflake there as well. Now there are two of me's hanging from C.'s window. It's almost like she has put a "support our soldier" sign in her window (a breast-cancer soldier gone to war). At least that's what I see when I look over. It comforts me.

Thinking Tuesday would be my all-alone day, I decided to make the best of it, puttering around the house, trimming up flower arrangements, watering plants, laundry, and maybe wrapping a present or two. And since I'm a multi-tasker, I decided to start my Crest Whitestrips beauty program (as part of my 'if I lose my hair at least my teeth are white' program). I also decided to put on a sleeveless top to take the pressure off my lymph node site. So, feeling quite free and proud of myself with my gelly Crest teeth, the doorbell rang. It was AJ, coming with his homemade fudge and his famous chicken soup, chock full of vegetables, in the biggest, most beautiful soup tureen I have ever laid my eyes on. I wondered to myself: "How am I going to eat that much soup today?" Oh well, I'll freeze it. AJ visited with me in the kitchen, and the whole time I tried to keep him from seeing my gelly teeth, and trying to actually talk like a normal person without a lisp. But I couldn't take the strips off, having just put them on, because they are far too expensive to waste. So after the 30 minutes application required, I decided to strip them off in front of him, and told him what I was doing. That I was going to email Crest and tell them my situation, and that perhaps they would send me some free strips or something. AJ got a kick out of my craziness, knowing me and all – it was OK. He left the building, leaving me the fudge & soup – oh my, I ate the soup at 2:30 for my late lunch. Beautiful soup – I NEED the recipe, AJ! Please? Could we publish it? We could market it! We could set up a soup stand here at the house – The Soul Café we could call my place – soup and soul talk. What do you think, AJ?

Lonely I was not, for in continuation of the theme of the week ("Cousin Week"), cousins Richard & Jeff arrived in all their glory, and I loved it. They drove down from Coldstream JUST to see me. Imagine. I nicknamed them "The Pirates of Coldstream." (I like to give people new names, for some reason). For three hours, the pirates and I shared many stories, laughs and deep thoughts about God and other things. I told them the BELIEVE angel tale and they were touched more than I know. Doug came home after work, and we shared more stories. I asked the pirates to stay and have soup and biscuits with us – AJ's soup, of course. They raved about the soup. Now I know why AJ brought such a large quantity – pirates eat a lot. After many hugs and kisses from the pirates (they're good pirates), we said our good-byes, planning on seeing each other real soon, perhaps in Coldstream, wherever that is.

Doug and I changed our clothes and we went for my first public outing – to a church. Imagine – me in a church – who would ever think it? Picked up the OT director and M. on the way. My beautiful young mother is a second soprano in the newly formed Fredericton Ladies Choir, led by Dianne Wilkins and Peter Steeves. A few other friends are members of the choir as well —Beth, Judy, and Ann. We sat in the balcony, and I actually made it up all the stairs. It was like a stairway to heaven. The music was beautiful and soothing to my soul. I closed my eyes several times and bathed in the sounds. After the concert, one of the composers 'just happened' to be sitting in front of us (Gervais Warren, composer of Carol of the Kingdom). He 'just happened' to have the music in his attaché and gave me an original copy of it. I asked for his autograph. He 'just happened' to sign the music for me. I think I'll email him and tell him how special it was to receive that blessing. I told him I'm a choir director, too. I wish I was directing a choir right now. I have a great choir at our church – the best in Fredericton, I think. I hope they wait for me.

You know, my mom is getting to be quite a celebrity. She is now a published author, with an article in the recent issue of More Our Canada, plus performing for a packed audience at St. Paul's Cathedral . . . wow . . . I think I want to be just like her when I grow up. That was Tuesday. Our neighbours, the Whites, have a dog named Tuesday.

On this morning (Wednesday the day, not the pet), the OT director picked me up and took me to my favorite store – Zellers in the Brookside Mall. I shop here when I want to shop. It reminds me of my childhood. It is quiet and calm, just like shopping should be. We spent two hours there, and I was a bit spent the last hour, I must say, yawning and bumping into things, so the OT director made me sit down. It was my first shopping trip since the surgery. I saw G. from the church – she's probably buying something for Harry. I love Harry, one of Doug's buddies. He likes to sit at church with Doug in the sound booth. I don't know what they talk about or do back there, but I do know they turn a bunch of knobs and make our music sound great.

We came home and the OT director heated up some more of AJ's soup, however, she didn't know I had applied the Crest Whitestrips again, so I couldn't eat it for 30 minutes. One really needs to plan one's day better when using this beauty treatment. The OT director then made organic apple sauce at my request and not-so-organic-not-so-good-for-you peanut butter cookies (off the Kraft jar. Perhaps I should email Kraft as well?). I watched the movie The Muse with Albert Brooks and Andie McDowell in the lazy brown chair, and she joined me between stirs. I think she was doing the OT, not me. I'll eat the OT activity.

Well, it's time to sign off – Doug is sleeping on the lazy couch, snoring up a storm and I'm in the lazy brown chair, waiting for Mr. Bean to come on (Mr. Bean on the French channel. Since Mr. Bean doesn't really talk, I should be OK). Tomorrow morning, I have an abdominal ultrasound and a pelvic ultrasound. Then to see Dr. B. again to check my site. It feels like it needs to be drained again. It will be nice to get this healed up. Perhaps tomorrow I'll have the energy to wrap a few presents, eat some more of AJ's soup, and continue on with my beauty program.

It's time to strip the Whitestrips off my teeth – hope you haven't minded….