April 20th

I pulled myself out of bed at 8:30, really wanting to stay in bed longer, but we had plans to take Aiden and go to the gym. We made it there about 10, but Natalie had forgotten to call ahead and book Aiden into child care. They wouldn't take him, so back home we went, and I went for a walk with him in the stroller while Nat went back to the gym. We went for a long walk down the walking trail, but I found myself more tired than usual, so when we got back home, I was ready for a rest before lunch. After lunch, I lay on the couch for awhile, then it was time to go to the hospital for my line care.

I discovered that it's really a small world out there. When I got to the oncology unit, I made a comment to the clerk about her brilliant orange shirt. She told me that she was talking about me when she bought it in Florida. "Huh? Here she was on vacation in Florida the last couple of weeks and was sitting by a pool talking to someone who said she had a friend undergoing chemo – me. That would be Brenda, who spent the winter in Florida, but is apparently home now. Come see me, Brenda! Nice shirt, Sandra! (the clerk).

I sat down in the waiting room and a woman sat beside me. "I know you," she said. "I know you, too," I replied. "What's your name?" She told me, and I told her we worked together in the psychiatry unit from 1982-1984 – she was a nurse, and I was a clerk. She told me I had a good memory, but I remember that she was an awesome nurse, with a positive attitude, and always had a smile on her face. She's 15 years older than I am. We exchanged stories of our cancer experiences (this is a whole new world I have entered). She's been a survivor longer than I. She told me that now "cancer is like a chronic illness," and I do remember Dr. Broad saying this to me one time. My nurse friend said that they are always coming up with new drugs and treatments, and even recently cures for breast cancer and other cancers. I said that I need to remember that statement, and that I've have been struggling the last couple of months. It was then like she turned into my own personal psychiatric nurse and smiled and said, "Yes, I never forgot that when she told me. You need to remember that." I went in the other room for my line care, and on the way out I thanked my psych nurse friend for the advice and asked her how much I owed her. "Nothing….be happy," she replied. Once a nurse, always a nurse, I like to say. And once again, God put someone in my path to encourage me. Everywhere I go, it seems that someone has been affected by cancer in some way – either themselves or someone they know. I then went to my eye doctor's office to pick up contacts and I talked with a girl there about her sister's breast cancer experiences.

I went to Shoppers Drug Mart to buy face cream with SPF, as the sun is way too hot for my skin, and I must be careful not to burn this summer. I needed something under $30 (I guess that was my self-imposed limit for face cream), and the clerk complied with a $29.95 cream with a bonus smoothing cream. I need all the bonuses I can get. I tried it out when I got home and went outside to enjoy the warmth of the sun, but found I was too tired to enjoy it. So, to the couch again for another nap before dinner. At 6:00 pm, we packed the baby into the van again and went to Randy & Sandra's for a roast beef dinner, which was delicious. After Aiden rearranged the living room, we decided it was time to come home and put him to bed. He was a bit active, but no more active than any other one-year-old. He is so cute and we're going to miss not having him around. (And Natalie, too, of course!)

Every year, I'm always aware of the date April 20^tt. It was the day in 1986 when Doug rode his Honda 750 motorcycle down the highway at 195 km/hour, racing with a friend of his. Needless to say, he crashed the bike and spent six weeks in recuperation, four of them in the hospital. I thought he was going to die at that time – me a young mom with two elementary school children. That was 23 years ago – how many things we have gone through since that time – it makes me shake my head sometimes. But like a song says, "We're still standing." The Bible says this, "And having done all, stand firm." I'm trying. Just like Aiden and Ivy in learning how to stand – they fall down, but they get right back up and try again. They learn how to stand, and then they learn how to walk. Right now, I think I'm in the 'learning how to stand' phase. Soon, I'll be learning how to walk again….