Monday 17 November 2008

The Day the Rock Fell

Monday, November 10, 2008. The day the 'rock' fell. The day I was given a diagnosis of breast cancer. Me? Are you sure? It's not possible! My husband told me and I doubled over and wept. Fear swept over me like a black cloud. We held each other and cried. "We'll get through it, Deb, we'll get through it." I felt sick to my stomach. We lay on the bed and I cried some more. I writhed and cried. What a terrible feeling. We sent out the word for prayer right away. The prayers went up and the peace began to come down. I sang, "The Lord is My Shepherd." We went to the doctor to hear the report. I prayed for strength -- Lord, you got me through many things in my life and You are faithful -- now, can I have more strength for this? I asked the question everyone asks in times like these: "Why me, Lord?" Just like the song says. This is my lifesong and my lifesong sings. God spoke to my heart, "so that I will be glorified."

That day was one of shock, tears, and fears. That night before bed, God spoke to my heart again -- "this sickness will not end in death." I knew it was a verse and looked it up. It is from John 11, where Jesus' good friend, Lazarus, is sick. His sisters send word to Jesus, because they know Jesus can heal him: "Jesus, the one you love is sick..." Look at the verse:

"When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it."

I couldn't believe it: the two statements God spoke to me are put together in this one verse. I knew it was a 'word' to hold on to. I wrote it down and think of it often. I will not die, but live, and live to praise the God who will allow me to keep on living.

I plan to write further posts about this new 'chapter' in my life -- the MIDDLE chapter. I think I'll call my book, "The Book of Deborah; Don't Worry, It's Not Part of the Apocrypha." Anyone want to order a copy?

The process begins.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I love you Deb! I thank God for your courage and your faith and your willingness to share your life with others that they may be blessed and encouraged and that God may be glorified in all things! And I like the title of your book - it is very much a "Deb title"!
love you big sis!

Unknown said...

Thanks, spiritdancer! God WILL be glorified!