Monday 5 January 2009

I met a precious woman this morning while awaiting my heart scan. She told me that her husband had just been diagnosed with lymphoma on New Years' Eve. I could empathize, for some reason … She was surprised that she opened up and shared her heart with a 'complete stranger.' I told her that perhaps I wasn't a complete stranger; you see, I understand, I've just been diagnosed with breast cancer, had a mastectomy and am now awaiting chemo. I gave her the verse I posted last evening from Phil 4:6-7 – "Do not be anxious about anything…" I also gave her my phone number and website. Pray for her – her name is the same as mine, and for her husband. I did what my sister told me to – take my attitude with me into the hospital; somebody might need my attitude. It was truly a 'God moment.'

The scan process took an hour. What to do after a heart scan? Aerobics, of course. Walking at Willie Wonka's place – 2 miles at a fast clip; good cardio workout. The OT director joined me halfway through and puffed along trying to keep up to me. She is not a physical activity director, shall we say. On to my favorite store for groceries and home again, jiggety-jig. A ring at my door, it was my favorite mail carrier, H., back from Christmas vacation, delivering my mail in person and catching up. She's so sweet. Her sister, Margaret, goes to Halifax for stem cell implant on Thursday. Let's remember to pray for her as she undergoes this treatment.

I worked for a couple of hours on the 'books,' which is NOT something I want to do right now, but… It is very difficult for me to concentrate on numbers right now. D. came over tonight and we watched The Note, a Hallmark movie. Then the three of us had a prayer time.

If we had no fear, we could do anything. If we had peace, we could do anything. No fear and His peace are what I need most of all. "Tell God what you want," says the New Living Translation of Phil 4:6-7 (I gave this version to Deborah this morning in the hospital). Well, this is what I want, God: no more bad news. I want healing, I want wholeness, I want peace, I want wellness, I want life. That's what I want. I want Jesus to calm my storm. I want Jesus to take the knot out of my stomach. I want to sleep.

Matthew 8 tells us that Jesus calmed a great storm. Behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. (Jesus was asleep! He wasn't concerned about the storm. Janet White # 1 reminded me of this last night). And the [disciples] went and woke him, saying, 'Save us, Lord; we are perishing.' And [Jesus] said to them, 'Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?' Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. And the men marveled, saying, 'What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?'

Well, I see some parallels to my life right now. A great storm, the boat of my life being swamped by the huge waves. Me calling out to God: "HELP!" And there is Jesus, sleeping in the boat – He was not afraid. He didn't need to be. He could just say a word and the storm would cease.

So, Lord, say the word and stop my beating heart and twisted gut. Put your hand on my shoulder. Grant me your peace, I pray. And let me lay down and sleep with you in this boat of life. Let me curl up with you and sleep, knowing that your arms are around me, and that ANY moment you will stop the storm.

Tomorrow – oncology unit here I come….

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well now, divine appointments - cool!!!

Linda said...

Beautiful, Deb. And difficult. You paint with your words. Thank you for not leaving out the shadows - and we can't have shadows without sunshine ... hmmm ... prayer hugs around you, dear one.

Much love,
Lin :-) oxo

Anonymous said...

I know it was a God moment.

I took a number and waited in line to have (what I thought) was a blood test. When I got to the desk the lady told me I was in the wrong place...I had to go to Nuclear Med. If I had gone straight to my appointment at 8:15I would never have met you. I just wanted you to know that your kind words were such a comfort to my broken heart. It was like an angel had spoken to me.

My husband had his biopsy on Thursday and now we are awaiting the results..and I'm not worried...I'm leaving it in God's hands.
Thanks you from
The other Deborah

P.S. Please know that you are also in my thougths and prayers.